Svenskt Flyghistoriskt Forum

Gammal är fortfarande bäst!

"We must get rid of turbines. They are ruining aviation. We need to go back
to big round engines. Anybody can start a turbine, you just need to move a
switch from "OFF" to "START" and then remember
to move it back to "ON" after a while. My PC is more difficult to start.
Cranking a round engine requires skill, finesse and style. On some planes,
the pilots are not even allowed to do it.

Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a small lady-like poot and
start whining louder. Round engines give a satisfying rattle-rattle,
click-click BANG, more rattles, another BANG, a big macho fart or two, more
clicks, a lot of smoke and finally a serious low pitched roar. We like
that. It's a guy thing. When you start a round engine, your mind is engaged
and you can concentrate on the flight ahead. Starting a turbine is like
flicking on a ceiling fan: Useful, but hardly exciting. Turbines don't
break often enough, leading to aircrew boredom, complacency and inattention.
A round engine at speed looks and sounds like it's going to blow at any
minute. This helps concentrate the mind. Turbines don't have enough control
levers to keep a pilot's attention. There's nothing to fiddle with during
the flight. Turbines smell like a Boy Scout camp full of Coleman lanterns.
Round engines smell like God intended flying machines to smell.

I think I hear the nurse coming down the hall. I gotta go."

/ Jörgen